Year 4 · Narrative · WAGOLL
The Secret Tunnel
A short narrative about three children who discover a hidden tunnel beneath their school. Uses fronted adverbials with commas, expanded noun phrases, dialogue with new speaker on new line, and the apostrophe for plural possession. Meets Year 4 expected standard.
Late on a stormy October afternoonFronted adverbial of time — sets the scene.,Comma after the fronted adverbial. when the school was nearly emptySubordinate clause — adds atmosphere., Maya, Ben and PriyaList of three names — comma between each. pushed open the heavy door to the old gymExpanded noun phrase.. They were not supposed to be there. Mr DaviesCapital letters — proper noun. had told them, very clearlyAdverbial phrase — describes how he told them., that the gym was closed for repairs. ButCoordinating conjunction — opens a new direction in the story. Maya had heard a strange, hollow soundExpanded noun phrase — two adjectives separated by a comma. coming from inside, and she could not let it goShows character motivation — why she's investigating..
InsideFronted adverbial of place., the gym smelled of damp wood and old paintSensory detail — describes the atmosphere.. Maya's torchApostrophe for singular possession. lit a circle on the dusty floor. Behind the wall barsFronted adverbial of place., where the children sometimes climbed during PESubordinate clause adds detail., the floorboards looked different. A few of them had been pulled up, as if someone had been diggingSubordinate clause — builds suspense.. "Look at this,"Direct speech: comma before reporting clause, inside the inverted commas. she whispered.
Ben crouched down and lifted one of the loose boards. Beneath it was a holeInverted sentence structure — for emphasis. —Dash — adds dramatic detail. a deep, black holeExpanded noun phrase, two adjectives with comma. leading straight downPresent participle — adds detail to the noun phrase. into the ground. He could feel cold air rushing up from below. "It's a tunnel," he said.New speaker on a new line — KS2 dialogue convention. "A tunnel?" said Priya.Question mark inside the inverted commas. New speaker, new line. "Under the school?" "It must lead somewhere." Maya was already lowering her torch into the dark. "Come on. We're going down.Apostrophe for contraction (We are → We're)."
All teaching points
- Late on a stormy October afternoon Fronted adverbial of time — sets the scene.
- , Comma after the fronted adverbial.
- when the school was nearly empty Subordinate clause — adds atmosphere.
- Maya, Ben and Priya List of three names — comma between each.
- the old gym Expanded noun phrase.
- Mr Davies Capital letters — proper noun.
- very clearly Adverbial phrase — describes how he told them.
- But Coordinating conjunction — opens a new direction in the story.
- strange, hollow sound Expanded noun phrase — two adjectives separated by a comma.
- could not let it go Shows character motivation — why she's investigating.
- Inside Fronted adverbial of place.
- smelled of damp wood and old paint Sensory detail — describes the atmosphere.
- Maya's torch Apostrophe for singular possession.
- Behind the wall bars Fronted adverbial of place.
- where the children sometimes climbed during PE Subordinate clause adds detail.
- as if someone had been digging Subordinate clause — builds suspense.
- "Look at this," Direct speech: comma before reporting clause, inside the inverted commas.
- Beneath it was a hole Inverted sentence structure — for emphasis.
- — Dash — adds dramatic detail.
- a deep, black hole Expanded noun phrase, two adjectives with comma.
- leading straight down Present participle — adds detail to the noun phrase.
- "It's a tunnel," he said. New speaker on a new line — KS2 dialogue convention.
- "A tunnel?" said Priya. Question mark inside the inverted commas. New speaker, new line.
- We're going down. Apostrophe for contraction (We are → We're).
- Extend the range of sentences with more than one clause using a wider range of conjunctions
- Use fronted adverbials with appropriate punctuation
- Choose nouns or pronouns appropriately
- Use inverted commas and other punctuation to indicate direct speech
- Use apostrophes for plural possession
- Use commas after fronted adverbials
Show the clean version first — read it together as a class. Then toggle Show annotations to reveal the teaching points. Discuss what makes the text work. Children can attempt their own version of the same text type, then return to this annotated model when they revise.