Year 4 · Persuasive Writing · WAGOLL
Save Our School Pond!
A persuasive letter to a head teacher arguing for the school pond to be kept. Models rhetorical questions, emotive language, facts and statistics, and direct address to the reader. Meets Year 4 expected standard.
Save OurTitle — short, urgent, command form. School Pond!Exclamation — adds urgency.
Dear Mrs KhanDirect address — formal letter opener.,Comma after the greeting.
Have you ever stoppedRhetorical question — gets the reader thinking. to watch the pond at the back of our playground? Have you noticedSecond rhetorical question — builds rhythm. the dragonflies that hover above the water in summerVivid description — emotive language., or the frogs that leap from the reeds? I am writing to ask youStates purpose of the letter clearly., urgentlyAdverb — adds force to the request., not to fill in our school pond. Although I knowSubordinating conjunction — acknowledges other side first. the building work is important, I believe we mustModal verb 'must' — strong opinion. keep this special habitat for the sake of every childInclusive language — speaks for the whole school. in this school.
FirstlyDiscourse marker — signals the first argument., the pond is a vital part of our learning. Last year aloneFronted adverbial of time., every class in Key Stage 2 visited the pond at least three timesStatistic — gives factual evidence.. Year 4 used itSpecific example — strengthens the argument. for our science topic on life cycles. Year 6 measured it for their mathematics work on area. Without the pond, where will children learnRhetorical question — challenges the reader. about the natural world?
SecondlySignals the second argument., our pond is home to many animals that depend on it for survivalEmotive language — appeals to feelings.. Frogs, newts, water snails and dragonfliesList of four — commas separate items. all live there. If the pond disappears, these creatures will lose their homeConditional sentence — shows consequence.. SurelyAdverb of certainty — assumes agreement. we should protectModal verb 'should' — suggests obligation. the wildlife that lives on our school grounds, not destroy it?
I understandConcedes the other point of view — strengthens persuasion. that the playground extension is needed, and I know space is short. HoweverAdverb showing contrast., I would like to suggest a compromiseOffers a solution — practical persuasion.. Could the new buildingPolite suggestion using 'could'. be made slightly smaller, so the pond can remain? Could we move the pond, perhaps, rather than fill it in? For the sake of the wildlife, the children and the futurePower of three — strong rhetorical structure. of our school, please reconsiderPolite but direct call to action. this important decision. I look forward to hearing your reply. Yours sincerelyFormal letter ending., Jamie
All teaching points
- Save Our Title — short, urgent, command form.
- ! Exclamation — adds urgency.
- Dear Mrs Khan Direct address — formal letter opener.
- , Comma after the greeting.
- Have you ever stopped Rhetorical question — gets the reader thinking.
- Have you noticed Second rhetorical question — builds rhythm.
- dragonflies that hover above the water in summer Vivid description — emotive language.
- I am writing to ask you States purpose of the letter clearly.
- urgently Adverb — adds force to the request.
- Although I know Subordinating conjunction — acknowledges other side first.
- I believe we must Modal verb 'must' — strong opinion.
- every child Inclusive language — speaks for the whole school.
- Firstly Discourse marker — signals the first argument.
- Last year alone Fronted adverbial of time.
- every class in Key Stage 2 visited the pond at least three times Statistic — gives factual evidence.
- Year 4 used it Specific example — strengthens the argument.
- where will children learn Rhetorical question — challenges the reader.
- Secondly Signals the second argument.
- depend on it for survival Emotive language — appeals to feelings.
- Frogs, newts, water snails and dragonflies List of four — commas separate items.
- If the pond disappears, these creatures will lose their home Conditional sentence — shows consequence.
- Surely Adverb of certainty — assumes agreement.
- should protect Modal verb 'should' — suggests obligation.
- I understand Concedes the other point of view — strengthens persuasion.
- However Adverb showing contrast.
- I would like to suggest a compromise Offers a solution — practical persuasion.
- Could the new building Polite suggestion using 'could'.
- For the sake of the wildlife, the children and the future Power of three — strong rhetorical structure.
- please reconsider Polite but direct call to action.
- Yours sincerely Formal letter ending.
- Plan their writing by identifying the audience for and purpose of the writing
- Use a wide range of devices to build cohesion across paragraphs
- Use modal verbs to indicate degrees of possibility
- Use commas after fronted adverbials
- Use rhetorical questions
Show the clean version first — read it together as a class. Then toggle Show annotations to reveal the teaching points. Discuss what makes the text work. Children can attempt their own version of the same text type, then return to this annotated model when they revise.